


Journey into...

by illwynd



Series: Journey Into... (de-aged!Thor AU) [1]
Category: Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, Kid Thor (Marvel), M/M, Meta, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, caregiver loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illwynd/pseuds/illwynd
Summary: A collection of askfic snippets and meta spitballing around the idea of kid!Thor being raised by adult!Loki.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Series: Journey Into... (de-aged!Thor AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996648
Comments: 30
Kudos: 64





	1. And so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> All of this was spurred by various anons who sent me tumblr asks on this topic; specific posts are linked at the top of each answer. I got a request to post them here for easier reference, so here they are! Thank you to all the anons who inspired these replies!
> 
> Some further notes about what is included and how it's organized:
> 
> \- I make no specific attempt at internal consistency among different snippets, so don't expect a coherent narrative; it is rather a collection of possibilities, some as prose and some as meta, often a mix of the two. Just some thoughts on this scenario, written in whichever way seemed most fun at the time. 
> 
> \- I also haven't entirely bothered to clean up the tumblrese, so please forgive the casual tone in spots. 
> 
> \- In this work I've tried to organize chapters roughly by topic and label them as such, but it'll also be roughly chronological for when I wrote each bit. 
> 
> \- Bits dealing with older teenage Thor may make reference to the development (or reappearance) of mutual romantic feelings or desires. I am a thorki shipper, after all. But it probably won't go much further than that in this work, and the early life sections will remain gen.

> [We've seen kid!Loki meet Thor but what do you think would happen if kid!Thor meets Loki?](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190675658900/weve-seen-kidloki-meet-thor-but-what-do-you)
> 
> \- Anon

So. Oh boy. Loki meeting kid!Thor… I think it would depend somewhat on the circumstances (is this kid!Thor somehow plucked out of time to the future? or a reborn Thor à la kid!Loki in Journey into Mystery? or adult!Loki in the past? or…?) and on the kid!Thor’s age (like toddler or teenager or somewhere in between) and on exactly which iteration of Loki is meeting him (if comics, which one and when? if MCU, what time period?)

But the unifying theme, I guess, is that, like… Thor’s feelings about kid!Loki are tied up in his own feelings of regret and sadness about what happened between them, with guilt for his own part of that, and hope born of seeing kid!Loki as another chance with the brother he loves, a new chance to get it right and do things better. For Loki, meeting a young Thor would be rather different, and heavier in a way. Because for Loki, it’s not regrets so much as ongoing, unresolved issues with Thor. So kid!Thor would be a walking reminder of all of that, but in a form that would truly shake up the equation. Loki has always struggled to see himself as Thor’s equal, struggled to measure up, so when they fought, Loki could fight dirty and see it as just him leveling the playing field. Having to face a Thor who is smaller, weaker, less capable and who is actually in need of _his_ care and protection—well, Loki would be left wrong-footed and uncertain. 

Of course, because deep down every Loki loves his brother dearly, he’s not going to let anything really bad happen to him, so kid!Thor will ultimately be safe with him. But Loki will still be heavily conflicted and he may very well not be _nice_. 

So yeah Loki interacting with a young Thor… OK I mean if it’s a teenage Thor, things may be a little different, because that Thor is (1) older and less vulnerable so Loki doesn’t _need_ to take care of him as much, and (2) at the height of his youthful arrogance and thoughtlessness, which boy oh boy Loki’s got enough memories of those times already, and reliving them while he’s grown enough to react to it differently and not feel so constrained? Gonna be messy. I’ve written adult!Loki being _very_ bad to teenage!Thor in that kind of scenario, and I kinda stand by that interpretation. 

But actual child Thor? That will be a very different dynamic. It’ll strip away Loki’s defenses (or, rather, his impulse to always go on the offensive in response to things that make him feel vulnerable). With child!Thor, he wouldn’t be able to respond in the same old ways, because this is a Thor who couldn’t withstand that, and Loki knows it. For the first time, he would be forced to see their relationship from a completely different perspective in which he isn’t the weaker party constantly fighting for his own standing. I think Loki really wouldn’t know how to deal with that, and it would stop his habitual reactions in their tracks and make him actually reassess things and see his brother through new eyes. And once he started doing so, I can see him becoming fascinated and, well, a bit freaked out, internally, because Loki’s love for Thor has always been alloyed with his anger and hurt and resentment. Seeing Thor in a new way, a way that makes him begin to let go of some of that pain, I think Loki would be a bit terrified to realize how much he really loves Thor. And he’d be running short on coping mechanisms for dealing with that fear, too. 

Now, for young Thor in all this… it would be weird for him, too, to see his “little” brother as bigger and older and more powerful than him. He’s also not used to that sort of dynamic between them, and it would be confusing. For a younger, less self-conscious Thor, he would probably find Loki very impressive, if also a bit unsettling—Thor is quite capable of high emotional intelligence, and he would pick up on Loki’s conflicted feelings, but he wouldn’t have the context to make sense of them. 

So if you put those reactions together, you get a Loki who is working through his own shit with regard to his brother but trying to keep it all out of Thor’s sight and trying to take care of Thor but constantly tripping over all his own messy feelings, and you get a young Thor who can tell that something isn’t right but wants to just trust his brother and is perpetually torn between those things. Sounds like a lot of fun and I kinda want to write it now. 

And the other caveat is that if we’re talking mythology, well, lol, that’s basically just canon. Though also fun to think about in different ways.

* * *

> [OKAY but now I CANNOT stop imagining a princely baby thor in all his boisterous and hyper glory yelling, "I LIKE THIS. LOKI, ANOTHER!" and smashing his sippy cup to the ground](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190677309300/okay-but-now-i-cannot-stop-imagining-a-princely)
> 
> -Anon

Oh Loki would be fucking _thrilled._

 _…_ I can see part of him being darkly amused at the idea of outdoing Odin’s parenting skills (such as they are) and raising a less bratty Thor. But on the other hand really not wanting that job because wow, babby Thor is a _handful_ and he was not prepared. And on the _other_ other hand, previously unknown levels of chagrin at being at the _mercy_ of babby Thor. Adult!Loki with toddler!Thor is going to involve _so many headaches_. 


	2. On the game of "Hunt the Frost Giants"

> [-slots self into this convo- how /would/loki raise babby thor if there was no other choice? 🙊 what if one day thor wants loki to play "hunt the frost giants" with him? would loki tell him about his heritage? how would babby thor react to knowing that his brother is one of the terrifying monsters in his bedtime stories?](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190696080460/slots-self-into-this-convo-how-wouldloki)
> 
> -Anon

That’s a good question. I think Loki would do his best, but his best would be faulty in rather different ways than Odin and Frigga’s had been. I mean, not to mention that the environment would be different all around by default, with Loki raising him in probably more humble (and chaotic) circumstances than being the beloved crown prince with the run of an entire palace. 

Loki, I feel, is good with kids but not great with being in charge of anyone other than himself. So his impulse is on the far other end of the spectrum from the overbearing parent that Odin was. But, again, it would get tangled up in his existing brother issues, and his beliefs, from his own memories of their upbringing and adult!Thor’s flaws, about what babby!Thor needs. So he’d be bound to fuck it up. I don’t know exactly how, but he definitely would. 

But aside from that.

Yeah the frost giant thing would definitely come up, wouldn’t it? Assuming we’re talking MCU and not comics where Thor grew up knowing… so, OK, I don’t think Loki was ready to really deal with that conversation at any point in the MCU timeline, and having to deal with it with a kid version of his brother is not really going to improve matters. 

So if and when it happens that Thor asks to play that kind of game, Loki’s not going to just readily straighten him out. He’s not about to tell little Thor about his own origins, and he’s not likely to really push back against the idea that the frost giants are monsters, because he still kinda believes it himself.

Now, over time he’d probably try. He’d tell himself that he’s going to explain things to Thor when he’s just a little bit older. Find a way to justify this decision that doesn’t sound, in his own head, just like he imagines that conversation went between Odin and Frigga over telling _him_. 

And instead, sometimes, he toys with the idea of _showing_ Thor. He thinks of it for the first time _because_ it’s so ridiculous, the thought of wearing that form again for the amusement of a child at play, to take part in a child’s game, even—or perhaps especially—if the child is his brother. He can’t stand to see it. He hates the feel of it, the odd changes in his senses that make him feel disoriented and disconnected from everything. The sight of his own face in the mirror, in that form, turns his stomach. He hasn’t willingly taken that form more than a handful of times since he learned the truth, and never in front of anyone else. Odin was the only other living being who had seen it, however briefly. Twice. 

(Excepting, perhaps, Heimdall. Loki brushes that thought aside entirely.)

So the thought of doing so now is impossible. That’s probably why he can’t get the idea out of his head, until one day, without thinking, he simply does it.

But he lets that skin wash over him out of the blue (no pun intended), without preamble or explanation. And young Thor already knows Loki can shapeshift, so he thinks that’s all this is. His response is one of repugnance, with the hint of fascination of a small child peering at a gory wound. He exclaims in horror, covers his eyes, peeks out between his fingers. 

It’s the reaction Loki thought he was expecting, but he doesn’t expect how it stings. He doesn’t expect to have to swallow back his own dismay.

And he’s further than before from coming to grips with it himself or ever again trying to explain it to the little boy in his care, the child his brother is now.

(It’s too bad, though, because probably with a different approach, little Thor _could_ have accepted it easily. But that would be so anticlimactic that Loki would probably be left feeling unsatisfied. It _has_ to be a big deal. It certainly was for him…)

* * *

> [WHAT IF little thor scrunches his nose at loki's 'attempt' and tells him that he's got it all wrong because "jotunns aren't supposed to be that pretty"?](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190729991250/what-if-little-thor-scrunches-his-nose-at-lokis)
> 
> \- Anon

See I could totally see that. But not for original kid Thor. The kid who told Odin he was going to hunt all the monsters down and slay them? Nah. 

However, if we envision a version of kid!Thor along the lines of JiM kid!Loki? One who doesn’t necessarily remember his former self and is still a child in all the ways that matter, but who has nonetheless _grown_ since his old life. One who is still Thor, but slightly better. _That_ Thor could definitely have such a reaction, even if he wasn’t aware of all the history there.

It would be interesting, in such a scenario, to see how Loki would take little Thor reacting in ways he isn’t expecting, and beginning to really understand that this is a new, better Thor. (I’m sure Loki would be a little sad, because he _liked_ the old, flawed Thor, dammit! And he felt on more solid footing with him, with the knowledge of all Thor’s flaws. He’d be a little afraid that a better Thor would not love _him_. He’d feel… cheated, because what he would have given to have this more thoughtful Thor when he was young and impressionable himself, not now, long after he’d been broken and healed misshapen and wrong… He’s a mess, our Loki.) 

In the moment, I’m not sure how Loki would react, except I doubt he’d want to linger on it much. Deflect, change the subject, pretend it never happened. Anything other than really deal with it. 

In the moment, it’d be interesting to see how this new, better kid!Thor would respond to Loki’s attempts to deflect and not talk about it. As I’ve said, Thor already had more emotional intelligence than he’s often given credit for, so he’d realize what Loki was doing. But he would only be a kid, with only part of the story. Maybe it would end with Loki holding tight to his (currently little) brother and pretending he wasn’t crying. Maybe nothing would really change. It’s hard to say. 

There’s just so much more that needed to happen between them on that particular subject that never got resolved in canon. So many possibilities, all of them painful and fun. :’)


	3. On relationships, old and new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a dip into thorki territory.

> [ooooh yes a more humble babey thor with his sunshine smile and his heart on his sleeve 😭 just the two of them from now on](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190785435345/ooooh-yes-a-more-humble-babey-thor-with-his)
> 
> \- Anon

yaaaaaaaaas

But I mean, hasn’t it always been just the two of them? In some future where little Thor has grown up and Loki has healed a little bit, or in the bad old times when they were at each other’s throats. In all the different iterations, that’s the thing that remains the same. They define each other and they’ll never be really complete alone.

And that sort of leads to the next thing. Because they’re them, and yeah, Loki taking care of this new, better kid!Thor is going to be healing for both of them, but then what happens when little Thor grows up? There’s the weight of so much history there, not entirely in a bad way, but it’s a pull back toward being brothers and equals, rather than child and caregiver. They both want that relationship back. They both crave it. And they’d both be afraid, also, of losing what they’ve gained. Or of losing both things, that they’d give up this newfound peace and harmony for something that they can’t ever really get back again, something that’s just gone. There would be fears on both sides–-fears of no longer being needed, fears of no longer being enough, fears of things changing. There would be those uncomfortable little secrets from each other. For Loki, his memories of parts of their old relationship that definitely weren’t healthy and he doesn’t want new Thor to experience but he still, kinda, misses sometimes. For Thor, hiding his insecurities about this huge new unknown because he knows Loki loves him so he shouldn’t be so worried but still, he is.

So whatever happens, there’s always going to be more, because they’re always going to be defined by their relationship.

* * *

> [Okay, this au is beautiful and i feel like a cretin bringing my dirty socks into it but I can't resist: What if Little Thor grows up wanting MOARE than their old sibling relationship?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) What if he develops a Mommy/Daddy kink? New Thor goes thru 2nd puberty horny for dat prehistoric ass](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190791492450/okay-this-au-is-beautiful-and-i-feel-like-a)
> 
> \- Anon

I mean that practically goes without saying though, doesn’t it? I always assume that even when their relationship does not in actuality go in that direction, there are always Feelings, and a teenage Thor would be no exception. Eagerly waiting to be big enough to start and/or get back to boning his brother who is also kinda his parent now in addition to being his former enemy? Yeah he totally would. That is exactly the kind of mess our Thor is. 

* * *

> [thorki? with mommy kink?? oh hell yeah man sign me the fuck up!!!!! unreasonably buff teenage thor: I'll be so good for you mommy ;))) - loki remembering toddler thor's Glitter Incident(tm): you have never been good your whole life. Oh but I really love this thought! the exploration! the discovery! someone has to teach young thor how to feel good and be a good partner, who better than momma loki!!!!](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190802091865/thorki-with-mommy-kink-oh-hell-yeah-man-sign-me)
> 
> \- Anon

Well, at least with any MCU-AU version of Loki, Loki’s eyes might narrow at the suggestion that Thor might think of him as _Mommy_ , specifically. 

But, that said, teenage Thor being his sweet, irresistible, show-off self and trying to impress Loki and get him to give Thor what he wants? Yeah, Loki is distressingly weak to that. Thor would probably start wearing no shirt around the house because “it’s so hot in here, I’m not a frost giant like you, I overheat easily!” and Loki would see through it immediately and would be sorely tempted to tell him off for being a brat and so ridiculously _obvious_ at that.

But on the other hand, those little displays make quite clear that Thor is no longer a child, and he is just as gorgeous as Loki remembers, and Loki wonders a bit what would happen if he put on his stern face and told Thor his behavior was going to earn him a spanking… 


	4. Asgardian strength and stranger danger

> [How different are Aesir toddlers compared to human toddlers, do you think? 🙊 Are Thor's games hazardous? Are his temper tantrums dangerous to other scrawny mortal kids and their mortal teachers? Will Loki get a call one day bc Thor broke some poor brat's bones (really, it's just a few bones)](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190792100390/how-different-are-aesir-toddlers-compared-to-human)
> 
> \- Anon

Yeah, that is definitely a thing, and it’s definitely a problem. Thor is far stronger than his tiny body would suggest, and he’s not even really aware of it. Around Loki, it’s not an issue, and Loki’s the one he spent most of his time with when he was very small. When he gets big enough to play with the other mortal kids? It’s a problem.

But it’s only a problem _once_ , because in addition to his Asgardian strength, he has his overdeveloped Asgardian sense of responsibility, so when Loki rushes over to the pair of kiddies next to the swings, Thor is wailing nearly as loudly as the kid with the broken arm. The arm is easier to deal with; a flash of magic and it’s just the lingering surprise and fear to deal with. Thor is tougher, guilty panic written all over him. He takes hours to even begin to forget about it, and his sobbing makes Loki’s heart ache. Loki tries to reassure him, tells him it wasn’t his fault, but Thor doesn’t quite seem to believe it. After that, Thor is so incredibly, carefully gentle around the other kids, and that makes Loki get a little choked up as well.

Of course, Thor would forget his strength sometimes, when he was emotional or excited; he’s only a very little kid, after all. But fortunately Loki prepared for that and spent quite some time devising a means to prevent such accidents from happening again, to protect _Thor_ more than anything else. A little magical limit. (But with a failsafe built in for if Thor was ever really in danger; if anyone tried kidnapping him, they’d be dealing with an apparent four-year-old with the strength of a dozen grown humans. And that would be before Loki found out about it, and then things would get much worse for them.)

* * *

> [I imagine there're quite a few people with quite a few reasons to take custody of beby Thor though... Asgard, The Avengers, Shield.... Hydra.... 👀](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190819642275/i-imagine-therere-quite-a-few-people-with-quite-a)
> 
> \- Anon

It’s a balancing act, because Loki _knows_ just how many people would want to get their hands on Thor in his current form, small and vulnerable as he is, and though Thor is already strong enough to put up quite a fight if necessary, Loki is not entirely sure he would understand the need. In their old lives, Thor was so gullible as a child, so unable to understand that not everyone was a friend. Loki hasn’t wanted to find out if he is any different now. 

Honestly, he doesn’t want to have to explain to Thor that he might in fact be in danger. That the people of this world are not all kindly and caring. That plenty of them _would_ hurt a child, especially if by doing so they thought they could steal godly powers for themselves or claim a bargaining chip or… or any of a number of other things that Loki doesn’t really like to imagine either. 

And even the ones who believed in the goodness of their own intentions would mean to take Thor away from him. 

So it is a balancing act, never quite explaining why it is that they so often move, traveling halfway around the world on what Loki always insists is his own mere whim. Carrying Thor on his shoulders while they become familiar with a new city here, or the countryside there, small sunny villages and remote cabins hidden in shadowed forests. They are fortunate that Loki can merely transport them and their few belongings under his own power; rarely must they stoop to watching the miles pass under clacking rails or turning wheels.

(Once, truly a whim, he brings Thor on an airplane, watches the boy press his nose against the window to stare out at the fluffy clouds, a look of slightly perplexed wonder on his face, as if caught up in a half-remembered dream.)

Loki feels a bit guilty about it, about how strange and confusing it must be for Thor. How lonely that nearly as soon as they’ve been someplace long enough for him to begin to make friends, they leave again at a moment’s notice, with no time to say farewell. 

But all it took was _once_. One time, when Thor wandered away from him on a busy street in London, and by the time Loki found him again, there was a woman beside him. Smiling down at him, his little hand clutched in hers as he leaned against her motherly skirt.

The instinct of distrust that had so often kept Loki alive was screaming. 

He approached warily, silent. She watched him come near, her smile calm and motionless as a shark’s smile.

As was the weapon in her other hand, the one Thor could not see. 

Loki never found out who she was with, what she meant to do. But he feels no guilt at all about what he did to her. His heart stopped racing, thumping on his ribs only after he had held Thor against them for hours. Thor was safe, and he hadn’t even really seen the blood, the chaos as Loki whisked him away. They’d gotten lucky.

That one incident was all it took. Loki doesn’t let them stay in one place very long after that.

* * *

> [(About the Hydra ask) What if they hadn't gotten lucky? :O What if one of Loki's former supervillain allies find them, and they assume Loki hates Thor as much as they do so they're like, "Oh, excellent, you have the boy. Our doctors have been dying to get their hands on him" and Thor looks at Loki all pale and confused](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190987492010/about-the-hydra-ask-what-if-they-hadnt-gotten)
> 
> \- Anon

This is one of the things I love so much about Loki. Because we all know how this scene goes, right? It _takes_ him a second because to him, his issues with Thor are somehow separate from his villainy, even when they’re at the heart of it, and hearing someone else even mention the concept feels like they’ve overstepped on something very personal.

And even though he’s one of Earth’s major villains, he doesn’t really… fit… with the rest of his alleged peers. It’s not so much Evil Has Standards and not so much Blue and Orange Morality and more that it’s just in the nature of Loki to be an outsider anywhere you put him. 

And that’s why he reacts the way he does. It takes him a second to realize what they’re suggesting, but his poker face is _excellent_ and his former allies don’t sense the storm they’ve called down; he lets them blather on for a few moments in their false sense of security. Even encourages it, while he shuffles around a few pieces on the board and gets everything in line. And, oh, he knows most of them don’t respect him, because his ambitions on this world are so different from theirs. Many of them wish to install themselves as overlord or enact some grand scheme to fit their ideals, whereas Loki has mostly satisfied himself with whatever game seemed most amusing at the time, usually with Thor at its center. So they believe he is inconsequential, even if they have seen him in action. 

They don’t realize they have only ever seen him _playing_. Killing time. They have never seen him _enraged_. 

The result is a massacre, in which he absolutely wipes the floor with them, with ease. None of them have any chance to escape or to survive.

And Loki doesn’t really want to let Thor see it. But he also wants Thor to know, in the deepest parts of his being, that Loki will always protect him when it’s necessary. No matter what.

And anyway it’s not like they never saw any bloodshed when they were growing up together the first time. So this can’t be that much worse. 

And Loki is not the cause of it, anyway. His once-allies were the ones who chose to voice those suggestions where Thor could hear. It’s not his _fault_ ; he only took action to stop them. They really gave him no choice about it.

Loki tells himself all of that, but it doesn’t actually help much when he’s having to soothe a traumatized, frightened little Thor afterward.

Thor _does_ bounce back quickly; he nods solemnly when Loki explains why those bad people said that, when Loki tells him that when he was still a grown-up, he and Loki used to fight sometimes, and that because grown-up Thor was so strong and powerful and their fights were thus so showy and the humans of this world are not used to gods among them, people didn’t understand that they could fight and still love each other. Thor seems to take in this explanation after only a few questions. But he still wakes up with nightmares for a while afterward, and it all leaves Loki with a sickly hollow in his belly. He knows he has to do better for Thor in the future. He’s just not sure how. Or if he _can_.


	5. Upbringing and education

> [Imagine little Thor stealing one of Loki's potions, thinking it would make him grow faster, only for Loki to come home to a VERY big toddler crying a puddle in his living room](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/190852551350/imagine-little-thor-stealing-one-of-lokis)
> 
> \- Anon

It doesn’t happen quite that way. Loki doesn’t tend to leave potions lying around, and if he did, they would not be of that sort.

But at one point Loki does begin reading to Thor from Midgardian children’s books when he is too exhausted to invent his own tales, too heartsick to recite the ones they heard together years ago.

One night he reads to Thor from _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_ , and it’s not long before Thor is entranced. The story is very unlike Asgardian tales. To Loki’s mind, it is slightly disorienting and he almost wonders if Thor will be frightened—the story follows no logic he can comprehend, and the little girl at the center of it seems merely a recipient of her fate, with little control of it all.

Thor doesn’t seem to notice that, or perhaps it is enough like his current situation that he simply takes it in stride. Instead, he becomes convinced that Loki should be able to do magic just like that in the story. 

“Loki, could you do a spell to make me small?”

Loki taps Thor’s nose with a fingertip. “You’re already small.”

“No, I mean, small enough to talk to a mouse!”

“Mice don’t talk, Thor. It’s just a story.”

Thor’s brow knits. “Then, but you could make me big, right?”

“Ah, but if you got too big, you would barely fit in the house, and you wouldn’t want that, would you? You would have to stick your _arrum_ out the window,” Loki jokes, repeating the strange pronunciation of the characters in the part of the tale they had just finished. 

Thor doesn’t laugh, though. He continues to look pensive, and it’s a strange look on his young face. Loki still hasn’t gotten used to that; he doesn’t recall Thor having been a thoughtful child before, when they both were small together. He remembers an older brother who could barely sit still through a whole lesson and one who was more comfortable with a wooden sword in his hand than a book. _This_ Thor is still boisterous, but there are also the calm moments, like these. 

When Thor answers, his voice is very quiet. “Could you make me a grownup again?” 

Loki doesn’t want to have to admit that he can’t. Thor believes in him now—back when they were enemies, Loki had forgotten how that felt, and he doesn’t want to give it up again. He also doesn’t want to disappoint Thor. But of course there is no avoiding it. 

He shakes his head. “I don’t think I can, Thor. But is that so bad? Do you wish to be grown up all at once?”

Thor looks away, shrugs. “Then you wouldn’t have to take care of me.”

Something about the way he says it wrenches in Loki’s chest. “I take care of you because I want to, and because it is unimaginable that I _wouldn’t_ help you when you need me. Why would you say that, as if you were some burden? I _love_ you, brother.”

Thor shrugs again and cannot explain why he doubts. 

Loki sets the book aside and wraps the boy in a fierce embrace, stroking his hair and murmuring words that he hopes are reassuring until Thor sighs against him and embraces him in return.

* * *

> [raising a little godling must be a lot of work. especially one as rambunctious as thor 😂 does he go to preschool or does loki undertake all their old lessons with their tutors?](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/611376032893763584/raising-a-little-godling-must-be-a-lot-of-work)
> 
> \- Anon

Part of Loki wishes he could just shunt little Thor off with someone else. It sure would make things easier sometimes. 

The thing is that Loki’s particular combination of arrogant egotism and obsessive protectiveness makes it impossible for him to believe that anyone else can do this job as well as he can. An ordinary Midgardian education is surely not good enough for a little Asgardian prince. They won’t teach him the things he needs to know. They will treat him like any other child, and he _isn’t_. Loki has envisioned it all, dropping Thor off at preschool, leaving him in the care of people who would not know how important he is, and the whole idea makes him itch. 

So he takes on the task of Thor’s education himself, even though he’d be the first to admit it’s not playing to his strengths. He has to rack his brain to recall their earliest education, the string of tutors through the palace in their first few decades of life; the fact that he certainly knows his runes _now_ doesn’t mean he recalls precisely how he learned them. Late at night he worries, lying in bed unable to find rest, his mind running around like a caged beast because he’s sure that the things he’s forgotten or never properly understood in the first place were just as much a part of those lessons as their actual content. 

Loki has always been aware of his own difference. He was aware of it back then, feeling how even though he excelled in most of their studies, the way his mind worked was not exactly what his tutors expected. He is even more aware of it now, trying to recreate those lessons and finding himself pondering how Thor must have perceived it back then. How he must perceive it now. 

He feels he is trying to bridge a gap without being able to see it. He worries that he’s not going to get it right. 

And that is only these early lessons, which go well enough after he learns what he must do to make the subjects more appealing for his brother. After he learns not to go too long without giving Thor something physical to do, to let him try things out for himself whenever possible, talking him through the steps rather than simply giving him a list of instructions. To let him get his hands dirty. To hold him often (Loki has always been aware that his brother is tactile, but this little child Thor… it is easier to see it, now, and he doesn’t have his own answering instinct to shy away from what once seemed an overbearing demand, and thus Loki can only feel strange about everything.)

Right now, Thor may be a handful, and it’s true that Loki runs himself ragged chasing after the kid and keeping him mostly out of trouble (at least out of any trouble that isn’t Loki-approved). But what will it be like later? He doesn’t know. He needs to give Thor as near to the education he received before as possible, so that he will grow up to be at least somewhat like his old self. But how possible will that be, on this realm, with only Loki for guidance?

Loki tries not to worry about that too much as he finds a nearby playground and watches, attentive, while Thor gets out all his excess energy there.

One thing at a time.


	6. On those casting long shadows

> [the question is: will baby thor ultimately develop daddy issues towards Loki? 🤔 will he feel a need to live up to loki's idea of his older self's amazingness, despite growing up without the adventures and warrior culture that honed his previous abilities?](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/612085341023797248/the-question-is-will-baby-thor-ultimately-develop)
> 
> \- Anon

I think, oddly enough, baby Thor will end up surprisingly well adjusted.

Or maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising, because while Loki is definitely fucked in the head himself, he is intimately aware of how that happens. Like, he _knows_ what it’s like to be compared to someone else and to not ever seem to be able to match up to that standard, so he’s going to do his damnedest to make sure little Thor never feels that way. That little Thor knows Loki loves him just as he is, and that he doesn’t have to strive to be anything he’s not. 

Baby Thor will end up different, unavoidably, because of the change in circumstances and experiences. But more importantly, in terms of their relationship… original Thor had a pretty damn charmed life for basically his entire youth. That was good insofar as it contributed to his sunny disposition and his confidence and all his other strengths, but it meant that he had some huge blind spots, and it came as a shock when he had to confront his own flaws and their consequences.

This Thor will, I think, grow up not feeling like he needs to live up to that previous self but instead being aware of the ripples of those events. He is intuitive enough to sense Loki’s deep sadness and old wounds (no matter how much he tries to conceal them and pretend they don’t exist), and to know that his previous self contributed to that. And his older self was not him, precisely, so it’s just a little bit distant, just enough that he can be aware of it safely and without terrible guilt. But growing up with that awareness—that is the part of this upbringing that’s really different.

And it stays with him, changing over time as he grows. When he’s young, it is just that, an awareness: his own life is still mostly happiness, he is loved and cared for and protected, but there is also this distant stormcloud of past sorrows and mistakes, and though they are far off and beyond his understanding, he can taste them in the air like ozone. He can see them in how Loki reacts sometimes, or feel them in the things he knows Loki keeps from him. And what grows in him from it is just a little bit more caution, just a little bit more thoughtful hesitation. 

There’s a while when he reaches adolescence (at which point Loki stops keeping any of their past conflicts secret from him, because it’s far better that Thor learn those tales from him rather than, Norns forbid, whatever he would find from old Midgardian news stories about those times) when Thor becomes morbidly obsessed with his older former self’s flaws and the things that went wrong between him and Loki. In accordance with his own rule, Loki tells him whatever he asks about as honestly as he can. When he figures out that Thor is using those stories for self-recrimination in this strange way, though, they have to have _a talk_. Loki insisting to him (with a ferocity that surprises Loki himself) that none of that was Thor’s fault; that it wasn’t even entirely his older self’s fault, and Loki was just as culpable. Thor answering that he still did the wrong things and so he needs to know about it so he can make up for it. Loki very carefully explaining that, no, he isn’t responsible for those things and he _should not_ be trying to make amends for them. That he is responsible only for his own actions _now_. 

Thor tearing up as he asks, “but what if I make the same mistakes again?”

Loki moving to comfort him and reassure him and untangle the tangle of worries he’s gotten himself into. “You won’t. You will almost certainly make new mistakes, but we will solve them when they happen, won’t we?”

And because this Thor has grown up the way he did, being raised by an adult Loki with _his_ particular perspective, Thor lets himself be soothed and he accepts this answer and tries not to judge himself for the previous Thor’s past. 

So, yeah. Surprisingly well adjusted under the circumstances, I’d say.


	7. On forced choices and dire consequences

> [May I introduce a What If?angsty plot twist in the Baby Thor au: Old Thor wants to come back, but there's only one body👀 Who will Loki choose to save? Or will he not and they both just... dissolve into stardust?](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/612906885844205568/may-i-introduce-a-what-ifangsty-plot-twist-in-the)
> 
> \- Anon

You’re evil, nonny, I like it. **  
**

But honestly I think Loki would be singularly incapable of making that choice. He’s not put together that way. 

Adult Thor in the comics with JiM kid Loki? Would absolutely decide in favor of the restart, the innocent one, the hope of betterment, although he would mourn old Loki deeply and would probably always blame himself for making that choice. But he _would_ make it.

Adult Loki with kid Thor? I don’t think he _could_. And I also don’t think he would simply shut down and fail to choose in such a way that the answer would become a default of “then you get neither.” I think Loki’s trickster brain would go into overdrive to come up with another way. _Any_ other way, no matter how outlandish. Come up with another body somehow (a sorcerer who is unhindered by little things like morality and you don’t think he can think of a few ways to fill that need suitably? Clone one, steal one from somewhere else or some other time, make one entire from raw material?). Or somehow devise a body time-share, or a way to merge them again. Or, alternatively, split the universe (and his own consciousness) into two different timelines, one for each choice, and live in both of them. 

See, what trickster gods are best at is taking an impossible situation and coming up with unexpected solutions, because they’re unwilling to be forced into a bad choice and refuse to see it as inevitable. They end up looking at it from an angle no one else does. Like…

If the “old” Thor is knocking at the door wanting to be let back in… which one of them is _real_? Can there be more than one instance of his spirit in the realms? Did his soul somehow get split? Is the child somehow a _copy_? Or is there something more underhanded going on and someone’s trying to get the better of Loki using his known weakness for his brother? If so, which one is the fake? If it’s not something malicious, if it’s an error, what does it mean? 

So I think Loki would entertain a lot of suspicions. He would have to get to the bottom of what was going on and how it had happened. And if it turned out that they were both, in fact, the real Thor, he would get to work on how to keep them both alive, and he would be willing to do pretty much any crazy shit to make that happen (whatever it is, he’s probably done crazier things for less important reasons!). But either way, he’s not going to make a choice between them based on his own feelings. He wouldn’t be able to. If he’s Thor, Loki loves him and won’t give him up. Even if, somehow, there are two of him.

(And that’s the other thing tricksters are good at! Having their clever solutions get them in waaaaay over their head (when they don’t actually blow up in their face), and ending up being the one who mostly suffers for it! If he does succeed in saving them both, then… he’s gonna be living the rest of his life, forever getting ganged up on by _two Thors_. Two Thors who are well aware that Loki loves the heck outta them and reordered the universe to protect them. Oof, poor Loki. You showed your hand, dude. Don’t blame me when they no longer believe your protests about how evil and cold and calculating you are. You brought this on yourself.)


	8. The learning of runes

> [PLEASE give us a snippet of teacher!Loki attempting to teach baby Thor his first runes? 🙏](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/613819751186202624/please-give-us-a-snippet-of-teacherloki)
> 
> \- Anon

The worst thing about it was how good it all felt.

Caring about his family was in his past. Loving Thor was in his past. Yet here Loki was, with a tiny blond boy on his lap, as Loki read to him from the illuminated scroll he had set in the air before them. 

Thor was so small, so small. 

Just months ago, Loki had been fighting him, like a beast with tooth and claw. Just months ago, they had been at each other’s throats, and Loki had thirsted for his blood and his defeat. Now here was his brother, tiny and trusting. His brother who needed to be led by the hand, who had to be calmed at night when he grew afraid, who did not even yet know his runes or any of the old tales they had together been raised on. His brother, who sometimes clung to him as the only safety and security in the world, little arms wrapped around Loki’s neck and a little face pressed against his shoulder. 

Now Thor squirmed, in what seemed a combination of anticipation and uncertainty, as Loki pointed a finger, trailing it along the glowing runes. 

“ _Young and alone on a long road once I lost my way_ ,” Loki read aloud, murmuring to the child in his arms. 

Loki had not _let_ himself feel like this in so long. 

* * *

It was a rainy day, thunder rumbling in the distance and the skies sallow with heavy clouds and the patter of precipitation, and Loki had spread great strips of paper out on the floor before the window, so they could work and play and watch the weather all at the same time. 

He also set down a handful of crayons, although the waxy little tubes were wholly unlike the implements he himself had learned with. But Thor liked them. He had often used them for drawing curious little scribbles, which Loki had nonetheless exclaimed over and stuck to the fridge with various multi-colored magnets. 

Today Loki had something different in mind. Thor had been progressing lately, and Loki felt a turning point approaching, a moment when he would be ready for something new. 

So Loki had laid out the crayons, the paper, the scrolls from which to copy. 

Thor was always oddly calm when the sky outside was full of storms, or perhaps there was nothing odd about it at all. But anyway, while lightning flashed and rain tapped on the window, he happily sprawled out on the floor at Loki’s side, both lying on their bellies, and picked out a blue crayon. 

Loki, with green, very deliberately drew Laguz. Othala. 

“What do you think I am writing?”

Thor leaned over, watching. 

Kenaz. Isa.

“Do you know what that says?” 

Thor’s brows drew together. “Lo-”

Loki felt himself grinning, nodding. 

“Ki. Lo-ki.”

“Very good. That’s right. Now what about you? Do you know how to write _Thor_?”

Thurisaz, written in shaky blue crayon, had never been so lovely. Loki could not remember the last time he had felt so proud. And he guided his brother gently through the rest, until their names were written side by side.

“ _Very_ good, brother,” Loki praised. “Now, do you know why that is so important?”

Blue eyes gazed at him, their color turned grey in the stormy light. 

“You have just taken the first steps toward magic. Magic of many kinds. Words are their own magic, and in this way you become their master. But there is magic beyond that, and these same skills can open whole new realms to you. See,” Loki added, as he traced a rune of fire in the air before them. _Fehu_. It hung, sparking, for a moment, before its color shifted and its light dissolved. 

“What did that do?” Thor asked, awed. 

“Hold out your hands,” Loki said, grinning.

In a rush of sparks, Thor’s little hands were filled with… 

_Croooaaaak!_

Thor squealed with delight at the warty, wriggling, long-legged creature that suddenly filled his grasp. 

“Not the strangest thing to find on a rainy day,” Loki laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to mention, in the first bit, Loki is reading to Thor from the Havamal.


	9. Rescue or something else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one felt so much like writing old-school Avengers 1 era fic! What fun!

> [Somehow I feel like Natasha will be the first to find them and whisk baby Thor away in the half a nanosecond that Loki isn't paying attention 😂 Then the Avengers will be the ones running from the frothing mad supervillain. But they couldn't possibly leave it. Who knows what Loki is scheming for poor Thor in this state? They must send him back to Asgard!](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/613917895299383296/somehow-i-feel-like-natasha-will-be-the-first-to)
> 
> \- Anon

First, incredulity.

When Black Widow informed them that their missing thunder god had apparently been turned into a child again and that she had learned this fact through channels that none of them, apparently, had access to, it had been hard to believe. But, then, they were a team that included a scientist who sometimes turned into a giant green rage monster, in addition to an actual Norse god and a 100-year-old supersoldier, so maybe it wasn’t flat-out impossible. They’d seen weirder things. When she'd added that the child believed to be Thor had been spotted in the custody of his brother and enemy, that had also been a notion that didn't really fit in their minds, for a variety of reasons.

Not until she actually waltzed back through the door with the little blond tyke in her arms, though, and the whole tower could probably hear the kid wailing while unexpected thunderclouds gathered outside… then they had no choice but to accept that it was probably true. 

* * *

Next, confusion.

Because it was obvious that whatever had happened to Thor, he didn’t have all his memories. But they still needed to find out what Loki had done to him and if there was any way to reverse it. They still had to find out what _else_ Loki might have been planning. This _had_ to be part of some scheme; they needed to know what it was. 

And to find out, they had to—if you could call it this—debrief a very upset little kid. Who still gave Natasha a suspicious frown, his brow knitted, and wouldn’t say a thing to her. He didn’t seem to trust the rest of them, either. He spent a lot of time sniffling back tears and asking where his brother was. It was Bruce, actually, who finally managed to make friends enough to get anything out of him, and he only managed that by bringing him some crayons and a coloring book and then not trying to ask him anything right away, waiting until the kid started talking to him first. 

Tony, watching over the security feed, had to admit that that did not seem like the behavior of a kid who’d been rescued from a dire fate at the hands of a supervillain. It seemed more like a kid who’d been snatched away from…

Tony’s mouth twisted at the thought.

In between crayon scribblings, in bits and pieces, they learned that he didn’t know who they were and he’d never heard of the Avengers. He didn’t know what had happened to him and he didn’t know where Loki had been hiding him—”we move a lot,” he’d said with a shrug, not looking up from his coloring. 

The next question, Tony could feel the tension in Bruce’s voice, the answer he was steeling himself for. 

“Thor, has Loki ever hurt you? Or tried to? Has he ever made you scared?”

This time, Thor stopped coloring and looked up at him, and for a moment he pressed his mouth into a line, the very image of childish consternation. 

And then he said, with exaggerated calm as if speaking to someone who wasn’t quite understanding something very simple, “my brother takes care of me and keeps me safe.”

Bruce had surreptitiously glanced up at the camera then, gesturing with his face and his eyes as if to say “well, now what?”

* * *

And finally, dismay.

Shock, certainly, and the sort of regret you feel when you realize you have completely misread a situation and made a fool of yourself, and also a fair bit of…

“Oh shit,” Steve said when, a few hours later, Loki burst into existence in the doorway in a blaze of furious green fire. 

That was exactly the word for it. A fair bit of “oh shit.” 

And he didn’t start attacking right away, but you didn’t have to be a genius to tell that he was ready to burn everything to the ground, probably the whole planet included, if he didn’t get what he was there for. And for once Tony did not feel confident about their chances. This seemed… different than every time they’d ever seen him ready to fight before. Somehow, metaphysically, the gloves were off, and it crackled in the air. 

“Where is my brother,” Loki demanded, voice low but oddly frantic. “I know you have him here. Give him back to me _now_ and I will forget this offense. He is not yours, and you have no right to take him from me.”

It was Steve who stepped forward. “Well, excuse me, but last I checked he’s not yours either. Whatever’s happened to him, _he_ has a right to whatever help we can give, or to get him back to people who _can_ help him. Which, we don’t know what you _were_ doing with him, but it clearly wasn’t that.”

Now it was no longer a crackling but instead a rising tension, like the whistling of a tea kettle only too high to hear, and when Loki took a step toward them, arms low at his sides, they all took a subconscious step in retreat.

“You would return him to Asgard?” Loki said. “You think that would be _helping_ him? By stealing him from me and ensuring that I would not see him again, perhaps for centuries? Until he had grown up again _without_ me?”

The tension heightened yet again and Loki took another step forward, menacing, and good god he was terrifying when he wanted to be, and Tony was muttering to himself to summon his armor because this was about to go pear-shaped really fast and—

Loki stopped mid-stride and blinked, seeming to come back to himself. He looked around at all of them, him and Steve and Natasha, and instead of the rage there was again that look of panic. 

“Did you tell him?”

“Did we tell him what?” Tony heard himself ask. 

Loki took a few quick breaths. “He _trusts_ me again now. If you have ruined that, if you have broken his trust, so help me I will…”

Tony made an executive decision before anyone else could make a different one. 

“Bruce,” he said into the intercom, “would you bring the kid up here please?”

(A few awkward, uncomfortable seconds all around. Maybe half a minute of everyone metaphorically twiddling their thumbs and trying to pretend this was all normal, somehow.)

And Tony knew it’d been the right call when the moment he came through the door, the kid went from morose and withdrawn to crying out Loki’s name and running over to him. And Loki instantly shedding the tension, the fury, the fear, instead dropping into a crouch so he could swoop little Thor up into his arms and hug him, both of them smiling broadly. 

“Are you all right, brother?” Loki asked, and Thor nodded against him. 

“I’m sorry about all this,” Tony said, fairly sure the opportunity would soon be gone. “Just a big misunderstanding. That’s all. We hope you’re both OK.”

Over little Thor’s shoulder, Loki gave a twitch of a nod in acknowledgment, but honestly he looked exhausted. Pretty near collapse. Like… someone whose child had been kidnapped and they’d only just at that moment gotten them back safe and sound. 

And then, in a much more subdued flare of green fire, they were gone. And the others were staring at him. Bruce frowning, a little dubious. Natasha with an eyebrow raised. 

“Do you really think that was a good idea?” Steve asked. “We still don’t know what Loki is planning.”

“I think we kinda do, actually. It looked to me like he was planning on raising the kid.”

“And do you really think _that_ will be good for Thor? Being raised by a supervillain?”

“Did that seem to you like the same ol’ supervillain we’ve come to know? Come on, guys—am I the only one who was paying any attention? Bruce, back me up. Did that seem like a kid who needed to be rescued from a troubled home?”

Bruce tilted his head, squinted, gave a half shrug. “N-not really.”

“There are lots of other people who will be very interested if they find out that Thor has been de-aged, though,” Natasha put in. “My channels are good but that’s the sort of thing that gets around eventually, and then Loki’s going to have a lot worse than us to deal with. Thor could be in danger from them, too.” 

Tony remembered the feeling of tension crackling in the air. “I think what you mean is a lot worse than us will have to deal with _Loki_. Thor’s probably the safest kid on the planet right now.”

And that’s where it ended, even though there was still a lot of doubt hanging around, and honestly before that day Tony would have never believed it either. What it came down to was that they’d left the kid to be cared for by someone who very obviously loved him.

And Tony couldn’t find anything wrong with that.


	10. Rymr

> [say if we mix marvel and norse myth, do you think, rather than god of thunder, new baby!Thor would be called by one of his more humble names like Sonnungr(the true one) or Hardhugadr(the strong spirit)? 🤔 that is assuming he chooses a different path from the old Thor](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/620421983347343360/say-if-we-mix-marvel-and-norse-myth-do-you-think)
> 
> \- anon

It’s something the humans who had been acquainted with them in recent years had mostly forgotten.

But they, like most other gods, had gone by many different names. Describing them by their attributes. Hailing them for their most renowned feats. Names that reveled in the sounds and the breath and the idea that such a simple thing as vibrations of the air could be transmuted into meaning, into beings, could call upon powers and minds.

For Thor, most often, they were names that struck and crackled like lightning, names that seemed to shake the ground at night while the wind outside roared. Names as solid and immovable and faithful as his hammer. And, sometimes, names of another sort, growing up among them, new green things pressing against stone after the rain.

Loki, of course, had not forgotten. But he is still taken by surprise the day he happens to call Thor by one of those old names, half in jest, and instead finds himself suddenly fixed by the boy’s rapt attention. A little twist of the brows; he asks to hear more. To be told stories of himself, of all the selves he’s been, all wrapped up in little sets of syllables.

To be told about possibilities. 

Loki picks him up, laughing, swings him so the wisps of blond catch the breeze and the sun, there against the backdrop of a little grassy park somewhere in this modern world that it’s become. 

And he tells Thor all his names, reciting them for his young ears, adding a few that Loki has thought up himself only recently. 

“I will call you any of them you like,” he says. Then adds, with a grin, “though I admit I’ve always been fond of _Rymr_.”

Thor thinks, nose wrinkling. “Noisy?”

Loki chuckles deep in his throat and leans forward to kiss Thor’s brow. “It’s one of your more persistent qualities.”

Though in this moment, that turns out to be less so, as he falls quiet. Worn out by the day’s play, or perhaps merely contemplative, thinking through what he’s heard. 

He holds tight to Loki’s hand as they walk home. 

“For now… I think I just want to be Thor,” he says after dusk falls. 

“Not Rymr-Thor? Are you certain? It has such a nice ring to it.” 

Loki teases in this manner until Thor laughs with him, noisy indeed.


	11. Jörmungandr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gets a kitten.

> [give thor a kitten for me (but don't tell loki)](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/627584659725942784/give-thor-a-kitten-for-me-but-dont-tell-loki)
> 
> \- anon

* * *

Thor finds the kitten in the overgrown field that stretches out toward the mountains behind the place that is their home this month. 

It’s tiny, scrawny, shaking as Thor scoops it up in his arms, but it barely struggles. Thor sees no sign of its mother or any siblings. It mews piteously as he picks the burrs and leaves from its soft black fur. 

“Do you want to come home with me?” he asks it. 

It pushes its paws against his arms and meows again. The fact that it keeps its little needle-like claws sheathed, well, Thor takes that as some sort of affirmative answer.

Thor doubts Loki will let him keep it, but that is a problem for later so he doesn’t let it worry him now. He hides the little creature under his jacket when he carries it inside.

Thor doesn’t remember anything from before he was with Loki. His brother tells him he was very small then. 

“What happened to me before that?” Thor has asked him.

“I don’t know. You were grown… and then something happened, I don’t know what. And when I found you, you were a child again. I don’t understand it either.”

Thor has only a few faint memories of his life before. A strong sense of his identity, but it is unanchored, adrift in a far greater haze. He knows Loki is his brother. And Loki has raised him for all the lifetime he can remember. 

The few faint memories he can recall… 

Something isn’t right. He’s asked Loki to take him back to Asgard, to their mother and father, and he can’t remember how long Loki has been telling him that something has gone wrong with the Bifrost, or that there is a storm between realms that means they can’t send word, or that their parents are away on some important matter of the realm’s safety and cannot come to get them. All Thor knows is that it’s been so long, he’s started to doubt it. 

Among the very faintest memories from _before_ are a few of Loki concocting stories to get them out of trouble. 

So he knows Loki lies sometimes. But he still doesn’t understand why, this time. 

Thor tiptoes to his room in their little house, feeling the kitten purring against his side. At one point it squirms and Thor thinks it might start making noise, and he hastens his steps, but it stays mostly quiet for long enough, and when the door shuts behind him, Thor heaves a sigh of relief. 

When he draws it out and lets it down onto the soft rug, it tries its legs, a little shaky. Getting its bearings. Figuring out where it is. 

Thor wonders if they’re both _in trouble_ and that’s why Loki won’t take them back to Asgard. He’s wondered that, and he knows Loki loves him and is trying to protect him, but he has still felt too awkward about it to ask. He doesn’t want to be in trouble. 

The kitten is a good distraction, and Thor plays with it, stifling his giggles as it tries to hunt his toes within his socks. He closes it up carefully in his room that evening as he goes down to dinner. 

At the end of their meal, Loki looks at him and heaves a sigh. 

“Well, we do have some tuna. I suppose that’ll suffice until I can get something more appropriate.”

Thor frowns. “What?”

“Your new pet. You do intend to feed it, don’t you? Brother, there is a great deal of responsibility involved in caring for another creature. It’s not all fun and games.”

Thor’s face feels hot. But he doesn’t think it’s entirely because he’s been caught and found out when he thought he had been stealthy. 

“We can find a dish to use for water as well tonight. Tomorrow we’ll have to see about a litter box…”

Thor’s eyes sting, and his throat feels tight. He’s not sure why. 

“Thor?”

When Loki wraps him in an embrace, it feels… strange. Just a little bit, but just like it does every time. Like he’s not expecting it, somewhere deep down. And that is more confusing than any of the rest of it. Why would he not expect his brother to care for him? True, he was used to being older than Loki… and he bets that when he was grown up he probably didn’t need anyone’s help ever. But…

“Thor, my dear one, what’s wrong?”

Thor presses his face against his brother’s shoulder and tries to hold back the tears.

Maybe it’s because, every time, Loki seems like he’s not quite sure what he’s doing, either. Like it’s all strange for him too. 

Eventually, Thor just cries, and Loki just holds him, stroking his back, making little shushing noises. Picks him up and carries him over to the sofa so they can both sit more comfortably. 

“It’s all right, brother,” Loki whispers to him. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I love you so much, and we are both safe and well, and if you want a kitten, you may have a kitten. We will care for it together.”

There is a warm happiness inside him, then, despite the tears that he can’t seem to stop. 

When the tears do stop, it seems to happen all at once. He heaves a heavy sigh and then the world feels different around him, though Loki still holds him gently. 

“Have you thought of a name for it yet?” Loki asks just at that moment, as if he knows. 

Thor pushes back, so they can look at each other. 

“I want to call him Jörmungandr.”

Loki laughs loud and long. “Very well,” he says, grinning. “Let us then go and ready dinner for the kitten whose tail will one day encircle the world.”

Thor takes his brother’s hand, and together they go to seek out a can of tuna from the cupboard.


	12. Every day is Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Earlier I'd made a post saying "y’all have really dropped the ball in not sending me any asks re loki and bb thor’s halloween. now i have to figure out what unlikely thing little thor wants to dress up as _all on my lonesome_." The ask below was in response to that.

> [ _i'd argue that loki and rymr-thor are living that halloween vibe all-year round 👻 maybe loki could wear a witch hat and give his little assistant a pair of wolfy ears_ ](https://illwynd.tumblr.com/post/632205775825174528/id-argue-that-loki-and-rymr-thor-are-living-that)

\- anon

* * *

I mean. Definitely true. Loki just has that goth vibe all the time and he is not the least bit interested in changing to suit the mortals’ prejudices. And the seasons in Asgard worked a little differently, so Loki finds that he greatly enjoys autumn in certain regions of Midgard, the crispness to the air, the trees’ leaves turning colors such that they appear to be great burning brands across the landscape. The feeling of change, tangible, all around. Of course Loki is pleased by that. And of course Thor likes the idea that he can be whatever he likes. There’s a sense of the fantastic about it that he---a child of Asgard, after all---could not have even said he was missing.

Loki would definitely put on the witch hat when it wasn’t even Halloween yet. Middle of October or whatever, slide a little headband of wolf ears onto Thor’s head and take him out to go walking, because who’s going to tell them not to, honestly? Loki doesn’t feel a single drop of embarrassment about it, and Thor absorbs that feeling from him. They walk through town, going to the tiny little candy shop wedged into what must once have been an alley between the hardware store and the old theater, because Loki says half the holiday appears to just be about the candy, and if they are treating every day in October as Halloween--well, it’s an easy calculation. Lets Thor pick out one or two things, not enough to spoil his appetite but a little sweet something to enjoy before the rest of their walk.

Then out to the parks and open areas to find leaf piles to jump in or misty fields to wander through. Quiet residential neighborhoods to traipse across as the witch and the fierce little wolf at his side.

And to fully get into the spirit… on these wanders, Loki sometimes tells Thor scary stories. Frightening tales he’s picked up here and there, or his own spin on the legends they heard growing up together long ago. Thor clings to his hand, gasps in excitement at the appropriate moments, asks questions about all the details. 

Loki has read the various myths that are recorded on Midgard in which his own name appears, of course, and in some of them, he is said to have mated with a Jotun witch who bore him a wolf son, and various other monster children. The first time he read those stories, he’d merely slammed the book shut in disdain at how flatly incorrect it all was. How little it had to do with his life. Flights of mortal fancy and nothing more. 

He thinks back on it now and it is still all wrong, of course. But they get home, back to the quaint little cottage they’re living in, and Thor asks to be allowed to keep wearing the wolf ears. So Loki runs fingers through his soft blond hair, straightening the furry ears on his head, and says, “Of course, brother. You can be a wolf for the whole of October, if you wish it.” 

Thor grins and runs off to play, and it is not until later that Loki has to tell him that he probably should not howl if it is already past his bedtime. 

Well, Loki shouldn’t be surprised.


End file.
